My mind and what goes on in there.

My tea has finished steeping, and my thirst is coming on,

I rise creakily and slowly, joints don’t move like they used too.

Same routine, splash of milk, push the bag against the side of the cup, half a sugar, even this lately has me telling myself off in my head,

I recently read an article about sugar. It was saying one of the worst things you can have for your cells first thing in the morning is sugar. As sugar feeds the defective cells in the body, it went on to say basically that sugar is the food of cancer. Note to self. Got to remember to find more out about this.

I come back to the office, through the unlit room, towards the light that’s squeezing itself through the door,

Something in the window caught my eye, I can’t see the shed?

Why can’t I see the shed?

There’s a shape there, holy crap someone must be looking at me right now as I’m walking towards the office,

Is it a killer, robber, or just somebody that wants to stare through windows at 6 o clock in the morning?

What do I do, I can hear my pulse in my ears, I’ll keep walking might scare them and they run off,

I’ll bang the window, and shout at them,

I’ll open the door and, why is the guy in the window holding a cup of tea?

Oh my god, drama over.

Sit back down to refocus, the plan today is to write two pieces,

This article is chugging away, but every now and then, my brain drags me away to think about what I’m going to write about for the other article.

This is frustrating, Right. Concentrate.

And breathe…

I love writing, I can remember when I was in Primary School,

The teachers making a fuss of my creative writing,

Then kept my book to show auditors and future classes as an example.

I used to love that subject,

I wonder at what point that aspect got side-tracked?

When your young they tell you, about all the different things you can do or be.

But at some point, they take all the wind out your sails, and reality hits home.

 

What do you want to be when your bigger? What would you like to do for a job?

I correct myself every time I say this to my kids,

I now say, how can you make a living, from doing what makes you happy.

I wonder how many people reading this find themselves in jobs, they just sort of fell into.

You knew that it paid well. Or it was a secure. What does Uncle Dave do, he has a nice car?

What pays well?

 

How many of us, were encouraged to plan for the future in a way that allowed us to utilise the aspects of our self that we were most committed to?

As opposed to interested in. Commitment is a different animal.

Are you interested in living the life you want?

Or are you committed to living the life you want?

When you come up against the struggles or disappointments which will inevitably occur,

The mindset of interested will quickly buckle and then you will start to justify why you can’t do it, or why it’s’ not convenient right now.

The mindset of committed however changes the game.

 

My wife ran the Cardiff 10K marathon the other day,

In her wisdom she decided to run 10k three days before too, just to see how far they could go.

She did not say “if I finish this race…”

Upon starting she said, “when I finish this race….”,

It was already done, she had left herself no option other than finishing.

You might not run marathons, but there are so many times throughout you day,

where you act with complete conviction that you probably don’t even realise.

 

Ask yourself. How do you tell yourself to go to toilet?

I need the toilet,

Or, I’m going to toilet.

You are telling yourself, need and going are words that don’t let you question, and you certainly wouldn’t say I’m interested.

The option to ask WHY is not given, with something so necessary.

Same with food, you will get to a point where if you are hungry enough,

I’m going to have dinner, or if you are not hungry you might say,

I’m not interested.

The point I’m trying to make here is that how we talk to ourselves in our heads directly affects,

Our ability to achieve the things we want.

 

If you were to think about the things, you have started but not finished,

There would be some aspect to it that you were not 100% committed to.

For me that’s my weight,

I have always wanted to be bigger as in muscularly,

However, I would start and just seem to make some gains but never really see the progress I wanted.

The truth is I hadn’t considered the amount of time it would take for me to get where I wanted to be.

 

Eventually, the excuses would start,

for me feeling guilty about going to the gym, when the family was at home, felt justified.

I would do overtime in work, then justify I couldn’t go to the gym as it was too late and I hadn’t seen the family.

Yet if I had committed to this task, I would have found a way to manage it.

 

I could have woken earlier,

I could have hit the gym before work.

I could have gone for a run while everyone was sleeping,

I could have done a routine in the house.

Truth was I never did.

I was not committed.

Do you know what changed…?

Nothing.

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