As you will see, the associated signs and symptoms were all there for me, how come I didn’t recognise it. Truth is if someone had mentioned that to me I might have laughed, I certainly would not have thought to consider it further. Probably put it down to life, and suck it up and get on with it.
Yet I struggled.
For me there came a point of intense frustration…..with everything!!
The thought of the time I had wasted depressed and angered me, how could I have reached 40 and still have no idea what I was put here to do. Something was missing, not physically or materially but deeper down, I felt lost, but I really had no idea why. I became anxious and concerned, this could not be it, for the next 30 years!
Everything seemed so hard, that life in all its forms was difficult to manage. I was on a merry go round of working overtime, and feeling guilty. Overtime to clear our debt, and guilt that I couldn’t spend more time with my children.
Which led to cluster migraines, headaches which last for months, these I believe were exacerbated through me not speaking my mind. I have always been aware of not wanting to upset others, sometimes to my own detriment. there’s a good article about it here.
There are all different types of opinions, on what typifies a Mid Life Crisis.
Does it need to be defined?
Is it not enough, to know how we feel, and if those feelings persist we are going to remain unhappy. I used to joke to my wife that “I’m halfway through” it was tongue in cheek, (and used to drive her mad) but I honestly felt I was halfway through my life and with the exceptions of my children and wife, I hadn’t made the positive contribution I had wanted in my life.
There came a point where I realised something needed to CHANGE, and I knew that change needed to be in me.
Here’s an article in the Independent, covering some of the associated signs and symptoms that can be related to a mid life crisis.
1 Desiring a simpler life
9 Sudden desire to play an instrument
10 Fret over thinning hair
11 Take up a new hobby
12 Want to make the world a better place
24 Start taking vitamin pills
27 Think about quitting your Job and buying a bed & breakfast or a pub
32 Contemplate having a hair transplant or plastic surgery
34 Can’t sleep because of work worries
35 Hangovers get worse and last more than a day on occasions
38 Take up triathlons or another extreme sport
As you can see the interpretations, of what constitutes a Mid Life Crisis, are wide ranging this list is by no way exhaustive. We are all different, why should we force ourselves to fit into the box that others tell us we should. There might be nothing on that link that resonated with you and that’s fine. Yet if you feel or can relate to the emotions I experienced at the beginning of this page, perhaps, maybe I can help you, that’s if you desire change.
I’ve always been different, in my own unique way, your are too. I went about learning how to help myself in my own way, it was slow, there was frustration, a lot of it. I’ve read many books, listened to hours of podcasts’. I had a lot of knowledge, yet struggled to implement it. It all changed for me when I invested in myself.
I decided to take control of my own future, doing what I have always had a natural leaning towards.
Listening and offering different perspectives.
Theres a gentleman called Gary Vee, whom I find quite inspirational although I do not fully agree with all his ethos, he does make a wonderful point here, about Life.
Did that struck a chord with you, I know it gave me goose pimples. Renewed my sense of gratitude for the gift I have been given. How about you?
Sometimes the sheerness of the task you are now considering, instils a sense of in trepidation/fear/excitement? My Father says of his worst day, “there are plenty of people up the cemetery who would like to be where I am”.
So, the next stage is to break it down, because it all starts with where you are…Now.
Recognise where you are and think where you want to be.
Know that your purpose is not going to fall in your lap, you are going to actively go after it.
You are now accountable to you. With ownership of your own life goes a sense of freedom and a deep knowing that if you want it bad enough, you will do it. Or you can go back to the way things were?
If you have decided to move forward, I would like to recommend a podcast to you. The first time I listened I wanted to turn off, he swears a lot. I thought it was just someone trying to sound important by swearing. I was compelled to listen though, as his passion and straight way of talking drew me in, his name is Andy Frisella, if you are up for it, take a listen.
His no nonsense approach calls you on your b/s excuses, which I quite like. Consequently, he helps me see my own failings, so I can push on and grow. If you enjoy perhaps you could tell a friend.